Welcome to my Ask Andy page! This is your opportunity ask me the burning questions that are on your mind – and they can be about anything you want advice on!

Holding On, 24, from Port Elizabeth asks,

Hi Andy,

I was dating my boyfriend (now ex) for just over a year when he dumped me in January. We still kept talking since then, and he messages me a lot. He started dating a new girl that he met around 5 months ago and it looks serious.

Problem is I’m not over him and I still love him. He promises he’s no going to marry this new girl and that he’s just having fun. Will he come back? How can I convince him to be with me and not her?

Hi Holding On,

Unfortunately, it seems you’re holding on for no good reason, and he’s just using you as a way to keep his options open – very convenient for him. Whether he’s going to marry this new girl or not, the fact of the matter is that they are together. You need to respect that – and even respect his new girlfriend.

You aren’t living your own life because you’re holding on to a ‘what if’. I suggest you stop all contact with him, and get a proper break from him. Live your life, and go on dates with other people. Don’t let him use you like this. If you hear from him one day in the future, and he tells you the relationship with her didn’t work out, then you can see where you are in your life and how you feel about being with him again.

Sadly, he isn’t showing you any respect, and you definitely deserve more (and better).
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